A guide to a damn bad copywriting!

A guide to a damn bad copywriting!

Hello copywriters! I’m a copywriter, which primarily means that my job is to write words with the intention of selling a product or service. How much of my “copywriting” actually helps you ask? No idea! But I try and I try hard.

Sadly, a lot of copywriting work I do is for brands looking to communicate what they do in a manner that is clearer, crisper and with less (sometimes more) fluff. It’s complicated, you see. And in the process, there are plenty of times when I find myself wanting to bang my head against the desktop after reading the same buzzwords & adjectives over and over again in brochures, reports, “about us” pages and white papers.

(Which reminds me, I seriously believe we could’ve come up with something far better than the term ‘white paper’.)

Then, like most of the copywriters, I go to Google to only find ten thousand ways to write a good copy but not a single way to avoid writing a bad one.

What do I do then? Like most of the copywriters – Right click. Synonym. Replace. Repeat.

And when we repeat this process, we get a list of words that are “exciting”, “extravagant”, “exclusive” and should be deleted from our marketing vocabulary right away.

So, what should a conscientious copywriter do? Well, maybe you could start by reading more thesis and poetry.

Or, if you don’t see yourself reaching for the collected works of [famous copywriter] any time soon, another, more direct approach you could take is to eliminate the following meaningless filler terms from your copy.

BEST / FINEST / GREATEST

Here’s a product headline you will never see: “We offer one of the best products in the industry.”

Why will you never see it? Because, like any proud parent doting on an unspectacular child, no company with a substandard product would ever admit it. That’s not how capitalism works! If you’re a marketing expert or an agency, a potential customer is already going to assume you think your product is the best. The catch is convincing the reader to agree with you.

Copywriting hack?

Instead of voicing your product “best,” a smarter approach is to let a convincing data point do the talking for you.

“We provide the best internet service in the town.” ← *yawns*

“We provide 30% faster internet speed than any average internet service provider.” ← That’s impressive (and persuasive)!

UNIQUE / EXCLUSIVE / EXCEPTIONAL

This is one of those words that makes people involuntarily roll their eyes, and its use should be confined solely to social media bios written by tweens.

Here’s the literal definition of unique: “not like anything else; being the only one of its type”, “unparalleled”, “incomparable”. Ironically, unique has been relentlessly slapped on so many dreary things that the word itself has lost its, ahem, unique meaning. It’s become synonym for, “I want you to think my product is superior, but I lack the ability to tell you why”.

Ironically, unique has been relentlessly slapped on so many dreary things that the word itself has lost its, ahem, unique meaning. It’s become synonym for, “I want you to think my product is superior, but I lack the ability to tell you why”.

Copywriting hack?

Instead of using unique as a prop, invest some time and figure out what actually makes your product or service stand out. Then, write it down.

“This car has unique design features.” ← Good for you, I guess?

“The design of this car was led by a NASA engineer.” ← Wait, whaaaaaaa..?!

QUALITY / EXCELLENT / STATE-OF-THE-ART

THIS IS THE FRONTRUNNER OF WORTHLESS WORDS.

If the only thing you can think of to describe your product is that it’s “high quality,” then you fundamentally do not understand what you’re selling. Do some more research. Use the damn product yourself. Do whatever you have to do to find a marketing angle and apply it to copywriting.

Copywriting hack?

Unless bland is your preferred brand voice, try replacing “high quality” with a sympathetic tone to align your audience.

“Quality, service and support.” ← Could literally be the tagline for any company worldwide.

You just read an 800-word essay about the difference between good copywriting and bad copywriting. But in reality (playing safe here), there are no “good” or “bad” words because you can’t apply moralistic value judgments to intangible concepts. *pushes glasses up nose* However, there are precise words and imprecise ones, accurate and inaccurate. The job of a copywriter is to know the difference and choose words accordingly.

Afterall, the best approach for excellent copywriting is to find unique qualities about what you’re selling and make it seem interesting to nice people, right? 😉

Mandalas that adorn our office walls and what they stand for

Mandalas that adorn our office walls and what they stand for

Title for the sake of keyword: Welcome to our workspace – Office tour

Namastey! Welcome to our workspace. We’re sorry (not sorry) it doesn’t look like a 5-star hotel, because it’s NOT a 5-star hotel.

We’ve designed our space for ourselves. There’s no imported jellyfish aquarium at the reception. Wait, there IS no reception. Anyone and everyone is allowed. We don’t have a watchman and we like it that way. We do have a female stray ‘Shantabai’ to greet you at the door with a wagging tail and some zenful music if you happen to visit during the mornings. You will see electric fitting wires and ropes hanging on the ceiling because it makes us feel at home.

Now, haters will say we’ve taken zero effort in setting up our office, but hey! We do have something that we’ve put our heart, soul and energy into. Quite literally!

Yes, the Mandalas that adorn our office walls!

These mandalas are not just colorful pieces of artwork hung on the walls but badges of something that we deeply follow and believe in. They are sacred pieces of artwork intended to evoke a feeling of unity, harmony, healing and spiritual development amidst the chaotic work routine. It’s like looking out of a widescreen after hours of keyboard war and having someone whisper ‘you got this!’

Shall we peep into some of the Mandalas that we’re super super proud of?

The Floating Lotus Mandala

The beauty of the lotus is that it remains untouched by either the water or the mud that nourishes it by suggesting our undefiled spirit. With its roots latched in mud, it submerges every night into murky water and miraculously re-blooms the next morning, sparklingly clean.

What we learnt from this Mandala?

With such refusal to accept defeat, it's almost impossible not to associate this flower with unwavering faith. No matter how bad your Monday was, you always come out stronger the next day, week, month or for as long as your life demands honestly.

FALL DOWN SEVEN TIMES,
STAND UP EIGHT.


The Dove of Peace Mandala

The Dove is the most spiritual of bird symbols. In addition to its universal importance as an expression of peace and reconciliation, it conjures up the purified soul.

What we learnt from this Mandala?

Internal fights and arguments are bound to happen when a number of creative minds collide but you don’t have to hold on to that grudge for too long, do you? Talk it out over a cup of coffee and get ready for arguments to come. PEACE!!

There are more such Mandalas on our office walls and trust me we can go on for hours but we would be glad if you drop by to check them out.

BONUS: Feel free to drop a mail at info@bochmail.com to receive printable files of Mandalas you like and make your space look like ours!

Kya lenge aap? Chai ya coffee?

Kya lenge aap?
Chai ya coffee?

Title for the sake of keyword: Agency guide on what to offer to your clients

You’ve landed on our first blogpost and the least we can do is offer you chai, isn’t it? Because that’s what we all do, not because you are important to us. (Oh you really thought you were important?)

If you’ve ever been a guest at anyone’s house in any part of the country, we are 100% sure of the one thing that you have been offered (read: politely accepted) – CHAI.

Before someone say “coffee is better than..” pssst quit it! Let us enlighten you, 30 cups of chai are consumed in India for every cup of coffee.

Curious, right? We were too.
And instead of turning to Google for answers, we decided to find it ourselves.

Here’s how!

We made a Menu card with every possible beverage on the list and used it to welcome our clients. And guess what? Most of them preferred masala chai (after scotch, of course. Yes, we serve scotch too.)

Fun fact: We lost most of the clients who preferred coffee. And we like to believe it was not our service, it was our (badly made) coffee.


Most of our clients say that they love the sight of kettle pouring hot piping chai in small cups. It makes them feel like they are home. Yes, we agree that coffee comes in handy on a heavy work day. But nothing like a sip of kadak adrak chai after a long day of work, right?

(If you got a dollar for every time you read ‘chai’ in this post, would we collectively be able to put Bezos out of business? The answer is no, for years to come.)

No, but seriously. We too believe in the power of chai. It is literally the ice breaker when clients arrive. The number of our boring client brief meetings that are being saved by a cup of chai is unreal. It’s the mediator when two people are having an intense discussion and it’s the vague excuse used to prolong a good moment; “more chai?”



Chai is not just a refreshing drink for us Indians. It is love, it is instant family. But most of all, it is the cultural symbol of ACCEPTANCE. If you offer chai or have been offered chai by someone, congratulations, you are someone they approve of.

So tell us, when are you dropping by for a cup or two? (We were kidding. You ARE important 😊)